a purpose driven life

I was brushing my teeth the other night and I noticed this ant in my sink. It was going back and forth, left then right, back around again, and literally had no direction at all. I was standing there thinking, “What the heck is it doing? What could it possibly be thinking right now? Do ants even have brains to think?!” I started to think about how boring life would be, to be roaming round in circles with no purpose really, and I realized that kind of used to be me! I was just like that ant at one point in my life. Roaming around from one thing to the next, never really sure what my purpose was, never sure what direction I was headed in, just going with the flow, going through motions of life, etc. At one point God was on the back burner in my life and I honestly didn’t really think much about what my purpose in life was or what He had planned for me. I was just off doing my thing and roaming around aimlessly.

I remember one evening in fall of 2012, before moving to Haiti was even a thought in my head, and before I had really started to grow in my faith. I was standing at the sink (yet again!) doing some dishes after work and started thinking about the purpose of our lives here on earth. I was standing there thinking to myself, “Wow, my weeks are all the same: work 9-5 Monday-Friday, come home, make dinner, do dishes, hang with friends on weekends, etc. If this is all I’m living for day after day, week after week, etc. it’s boring!!” I started to think about how I lived for something more than just life here on earth and if I didn’t have God in my life, I’d have nothing to truly live for and be excited about! I was reminded that everything we do in life should be a reflection of God. He should be constantly on our hearts and minds all day every day and we should always be working to show love to others as He would do. Little did I know at the time, a few months later my life would be turned upside down with the Holy Spirit nudging me to do what God had planned for my life. Even though days here are hard, frustrating, and exhausting at times; I still would rather be challenged endlessly every day than live a boring comfortable life where I never was pushed to my limits.

I opened a random “Blessings card” from my 6^th grade teacher Mr. Gude the other night. The front of the envelope read, “Bloom where you are planted.” That was the perfect reminder because sometimes I forget I need to just bloom right here, right now, in Haiti. This is where God has planted me in this season of life and I need to adapt to it and trust that He has a plan and a purpose here! Mr. Gude also goes on to talk about how my 6^th grade class required him to take a different approach to teaching. He didn’t necessarily like it (it wasn’t easy or comfortable for him at times) but he had to stick with it anyways. In the end, the benefits reaped were very much worth it. I also do not like every situation I am put in here, but every situation I face pushes me to grow in one way or another and I too will reap the benefits from them one day. I am learning to adapt. I am learning to trust God in EVERY hour of every day. I am learning to use prayer like I never have before. I am learning that He can change people’s hearts. I am learning how to be more patient. I am learning a new language. I am learning a new culture. I’m learning more about myself and about God than I ever have in my life! I’m thirsty for more of His word every day and I constantly want to be refilled and refreshed by my Savior. I cannot do any of this on my own and that has never been more apparent.

I also opened a card from my mom the other night because I needed some encouraging words from her. I found a beautiful note in there with a charm that said “Be strong.” It’s so cool to see God place the exact words I need to hear, at the exact time I need to hear them! :) She had cut out the words of the song “10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)” in the card as well. I was sitting there reading the words to a song I’ve listened to hundreds of times and I was reminded that it’s true. Even in moments where I feel like I have about zero things to be thankful for – I truly have over 10,000 reasons to praise God. I don’t deserve anything He has given me. Not one thing! I fail Him every day. And yet He continues to love me, to bless me, to encourage me, and He continues to give me glimpses of hope when I need them the most. I am blessed by every single thing He has given me in this life – challenges and all – good and bad. I owe Him praises all day long. No matter how crappy I think my day has been. 

Love

Tampico

attitudes, cuts, & welts, OH MY!!

I had my first bump in the road here last week! I can’t pretend that every day is fun and games here because it’s really tough some days. This culture is so different than my personality and if you know me at all you would know how true this is. I am very matter of fact, by the books, focused on rules and every last detail, etc. and that’s just not how life is here. Last week I was getting so frustrated and just needed to take a little break. I was so thankful for the weekend because I needed to recharge and refocus my heart because it was getting off track with God and my attitude needed to be checked.

I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life at this very specific time. My parents, Cassidy (my roommate), Jesse (my friend), and Tim (my boss) – they all reminded me to focus on the good things, see the good in people, and continue to pray for strength and patience every day. There is so much good in people around here but sometimes I get so focused on the other details I need to be reminded of that! I also needed to be reminded that change here takes time and progress isn’t going to happen immediately. They have all reminded me that God is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. I’m not going to change this culture or succeed at making rules for them to follow – it’s never going to happen. And that’s not why God called me here. I’m here to teach kids about God and show people the love of Jesus. I’m here to worship with them, laugh with them, cry with them, and live alongside them. While doing all of this – I’m reminded daily that God needs to be center of my day, all day long. Remembering that and praying when I want to pull my hair out keeps me grounded and able to see the good in the situations we face. I also made a “friendship” bracelet with two strands to be a daily reminder to me. One strand is to remind me to keep my mouth shut when I want to say “well this is how it should be done” and one strand to remind me to pray about it. God is changing my heart and I have chilled out, but I still need a daily reminder – so this bracelet isn’t coming off anytime soon! J

Tim sent out this quote to all of our MH4H team and it couldn’t have been more perfect for what I needed to hear last week -

                “I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” – Mother Teresa

So NOW after my attitude was refreshed - this past week was much better! J The first week of our Thrive for 5 program I noticed this little boy, Lensly, had a cut on his hand. It was like the size of an almond on his tiny little hand and it was fleshy/open, really raised, and looked like it was kind of pussing. It was pretty bad and looked like it had been that way for a while. One day he was sitting in the front row so we called him up to put a Band-Aid on his hand and prayed over it. We had been cleaning it with alcohol pads, putting Neosporin and a Band-Aid on it for a few days and the end of last week it was looking worse. So Monday we continued to do the same thing, and it kept looking the same but we were not sure what else to do. On Wednesday we called Lensly to the front again and took off his Band-Aid to find it looked SO much better! Cassidy and I looked at each other with huge eyes that said to each other, “Woah! Only God could heal this thing!” It honestly looked like it needed much more than just Neosporin and a Band-Aid, but that was all we had. The cut isn’t raised anymore and looks like it is healing properly and almost looks like a scar. God can heal anything and I can see that first hand here! As I said, there’s no way it could have healed that well within a week and a half with just Neosporin, it was a nasty cut! God is the ultimate healer though and He has the power to heal even the worst cuts! All we have to do is trust in Him. J And that’s comforting. We do what we can, with what we have, and God will do the rest!

On Thursday we were riding back from Savanette on the motorcycles and our friend Natao got hit in the shin with a big rock. It was a huge welt RIGHT on his shin and he was in a ton of pain. An ice pack and ibuprofen wasn’t helping so he wanted to go visit one of his doctor friends to see if it was okay but we couldn’t find his friend. So we decided to stop at the hospital and look around for our doctor friends who are in our English class there. We were walking in and praying that we would see someone we recognized! (There are usually 45 in our class and usually no electricity in the room at 6AM so we use flashlights – and it’s hard to see all the faces!) We were walking down the hospital hallway and at the end we see a very familiar face with a big smile waving at us. J We said “We need your help! – Nou bezwen ou ede!” Funny things is we just taught them that saying that morning – I don’t believe in coincidences! ;) All the nurses wanted to help and brought Natao in immediately and checked his leg out, gave him a shot, and wrote him a prescription. We were walking to the pharmacy in the hospital and realized none of us had any money on us because we left in such a hurry. We were saying this to each other and the pharmacist walking by overheard and told us to come anyways. He gave us the prescription ibuprofen for free because we were his English teachers. J The hospital treats missionaries for free anyways, but in this situation we weren’t the ones needing the help, it was our friend – and they were still generous! God was definitely present in that entire situation that day. We found the people and got the things we needed and that was only because of God!

After having such a crappy end of the week the previous week, I feel like this entire week has been so much better! I have been clearly able to see God working here and He is certainly changing my heart to look at the people instead of just the details of the projects we are working on. The children we work with in the Thrive for 5 program are absolutely adorable and they make my job so fun! J Every single day we have more kids that want to hug us, hold our hands, high five us, and just smile at us in general. The parents are warming up to us more and more each day as well. It feels good to be accepted in Pignon and Savanette and begin to grow our network of friends. J God’s doing some big things here and I can’t wait to see where this adventure goes!

Thank you so much for the continued prayers! There are joys and struggles every day and prayers are what we need the most! J

Xxo

Tampico

p.s. below is a picture of Lensly and his hand! :) he's a doll!

F.R.O.G (fully rely on God)

Alo!

Our last week has been a little crazy, which is why it has taken me so long to write!

Zeke is our Haitian boss and last Sunday his father was hit by a motorcycle while he was going to get some avocados. He was doing pretty bad for a while and wasn't responding to very much. We went and prayed with him last Tuesday and it was quite the experience. On the way out, the young man who hit him was lying in the next bed over. He wasn't even close to how bad of shape Zeke’s dad was in, but he had a small head injury. On our way out Zeke told us this was the man who hit his dad and that we could stop and pray with him if we wanted too. So we stopped and prayed. I was shocked that Zeke was even considering it, this is the man who caused his father so much pain and he still wanted to stop and pray with him. The young man started to tear up a little and you could tell he felt so awful, but at the same time he was able to see the power of forgiveness and prayer. I am so thankful that Zeke’s faith is so strong that he was able to show this man love and compassion immediately after this devastating situation happened to his own father.

That night (Tuesday) Cassidy and I were feeling kind of down and I felt like it would be a good time to open a “blessing” card. Before I left we had a small going away party and my mom had people bring a “blessing” card for me to open on rough days while I was away. That was the perfect day for one! I grabbed a random one and it happened to be from Paul Rekow. It said, “One thing I remember from our first trip to Haiti, was how much Haitian’s relied on God for EVERYTHING!! It may be hard sometimes to understand God’s plan, but always remember to trust in Him.” I wasn't even surprised that this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear at that moment because that is how God works! (Thank you Lord!! And thank you Paul for the reminder!!) :)

On Thursday morning we were at the hospital for a meeting and as we were walking out, a nurse stopped Zeke and said that his father was speaking again!! We went and saw him right away, he said he was thirsty and was asking for water. The nurse said, “even the doctors were not expecting this, they say this could only be because of The Lord!” It seemed like everything was turning around and we were so excited, but sometimes God has different plans. Friday morning I got a call at 7:30AM that Zeke’s father had passed away a few hours before. It was devastating news to hear and I was shocked. The funeral was this past Tuesday and it was so sad to see one of our closest friends going through such a rough time. I am so thankful that our team could be here to support Zeke and his family during this rough time. Everyday Cassidy and I learn more about this amazing beautiful culture, and one thing we know: God is so powerful and can do anything! Loving one another and being there for each other is so important as well!

Last Monday we started the Thrive for 5 program in Savanette. It has been going great so far! We have 101 kids signed up and most of them have been showing up every day so far. We have singing time, a Bible story, crafts, and we feed them at the end. We see these children Monday through Friday for about 2 hours each day. We also have a health agent from the hospital that will come once a week and vaccinate children and make sure they are staying healthy. All 101 kids are ADORABLE!! It has been so fun signing these kids up – but taking some of their picture's has been another story! Some of them are so young, our "blanc" skin scares them. :) They are warming up to us though!!

Today our morning started off at 6AM teaching English at the Hospital in Pignon. It went really well. We had about 20 people in there for our first class! This will be a great opportunity for these doctors and nurses to know more English and for us to learn more Kreyol in the process. I'm excited for this class to continue and to get to know each of the people individually. They seem like a very bright and fun group and it will be great to have even more friends in town we can chat with!

Cassidy and I were walking home by ourselves for a few blocks today and a group of guys was walking by. One guy says, “Do you speak Kreyol?” We both look at him and say, “Itsy bitsy, we are learning.” He says, “You know what I mean when I say, ‘Ou renmen mwen?’” We look at each other; shake our heads and yell, “HUH UH SIR, NON JODIA!!!!” Huh uh, not today sir, not today! No, we do not love you like that! He laughed, his friends laughed, and so did we – I can’t wait until we know everything that everyone is saying to us so we can reply to it all! :)

Even on days when we run out of power, run out of water, when there’s a million ants running around our table, when we find a lizard in the house (and then lose it again), etc. I am still so thankful to be here. When we ran out of power the other night I was lying in bed at 7PM in pitch black listening to the rain, thinking about how dependent we are on power - we feel like we can’t do anything without it. We even begin to feel desperate without access to charging our computers, phones, Nooks, cameras, etc. it is crazy when you really think about it. I want my relationship to be like that with God, all the time – not just when I am in Haiti and have to be so dependent on Him with day to day things. I want this neediness for my King to continue to take over me and I want to cling to Him all day every day, not just when it is convenient for me. We think we need power and electricity to live and function every day, but the only thing we really need to function is God. He will always take care of the rest! :)

That’s all for now!

Dako, na we! (Okay, see ya!)

Tampico