[pride]

Me with a few of my little buddies after Thrive for 5 one day, Lensly (left) and Wensley (right). =) <3

A few verses that keep coming up in my devotions and readings are: Luke 18:10-11 and 13. And Luke 18:14, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” And from the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, he really put into words exactly how I have been feeling lately: “A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be “humble enough,” and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known.” I was very clear when coming into this that it wasn’t about me. I knew that I would be PART of the new programs going on here, but I wouldn’t be the one to make or break them. It has never been about me, not even for a minute. I recently have become extremely sensitive to the feelings of pride after thinking about how easy it would be for me to feel prideful at this time in my life. 

If I wasn’t being watchful for it, it would be so simple right now to have a false sense of “awesomeness” about myself for just doing what God has called me to do. I am literally told all the time “how great it is that I am in Haiti,” and “how proud my parents must be of me doing such a wonderful thing,” or “how great of a person I am for helping people in such a poor country.” All of those things make me feel uneasy and make me realize that some people don’t really ‘get it.’ Being in Haiti serving the Lord makes me no better than anyone else and it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better about myself, in fact I probably feel even worse some days! Some days I honestly ask God why he has decided to bring me here –see, sometimes I even doubt God’s plan – how can I even call myself a missionary!? Nobody should ever think just because someone does mission work, “they have it right and all figured out” because that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am just as much of a sinner as everyone else is and I’m still working on figuring stuff out. I need to be reminded of the Fruits of the Spirit constantly and need to check myself to see if I actually am being fruitful. Anybody can give up material things for a few years and give some stuff to needy people, but what matters most is where your heart is and that’s what you need to constantly check. Just because God has chosen to stick me here right now doesn’t make me any different from those of you who are called to serve back home. My main point is this whole thing should never be about “me being IN HAITI and being such a great person for moving here.” (Again, so not true.) It’s about all that God is doing and it’s about furthering His kingdom wherever you are called to do so – whether we are at home working on witnessing to our neighbors or in Haiti working on witnessing to a witch doctor. We are all in the same boat!

                As most of you know from my previous blog, I’m a background girl and sometimes compliments are really hard for me to take. As I said, especially when our team gets told all the time, “you guys do such awesome work, you guys are so great for living there and working in a place like that every day,” etc. God has really been working on my heart recently and I have become very sensitive to these ‘compliments.’ Don’t get me wrong, encouragement is great! But sometimes I feel like the way things are said, aren’t necessarily focused on the Lord, they are more focused on “us being such great people.” I would so much rather hear, “wow I can really see God working here, the love of Jesus is oozing out of you!” I know most people don’t mean it bad when they give us compliments and I’m not saying they aren’t nice sometimes, but if I honestly let them all go to my head – it would probably explode with pride! I would also probably think this couldn’t be done without me, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am PART of God’s plan, it doesn’t revolve around me. We can all be part of God’s plan if we choose to be, but that doesn’t mean it’s about any of us. I think this is a good lesson for everyone to be reminded of and God has really been placing it on my heart. No matter where we are at in our faith walk or what country we are in, it’s not about us, it’s about making ourselves less known so that we can make Christ more known. We all have to work at picking up our cross daily and following our wonderful, powerful, and loving Savior.

                Ebens, Cassidy, Cliff, and I got to go visit Denilson last week and couldn’t have been more excited! Denilson is an 8 year old boy who was badly burned and Many Hands for Haiti has decided to get him the help he needs to heal. He is doing so well and we have posted many pictures of his recovery on the Many Hands for Haiti Facebook page, as well as on my own Facebook page. We will continue to give updates about him as we have them! Thank you so much for the prayers, he needs them! God has a great big plan for this beautiful child’s life! =)

                I am really looking forward to coming home December 18^th and we would really appreciate the prayers as we fly out that day. I have been craving the most random things like: milk, apples, green olives, pickles, and yogurt to name a few. Of course junk food is ALWAYS good to have around as well, but strangely enough that’s not what I miss the most! It will be so great to spend the holiday season with my family and friends! Can’t wait to see some of you back in Spencer soon! =)

Love,

Tampico

*in the details

The only one who can truly see the depth of my heart is The Lord. On the outside I do look like I’m focused on the details and background things – but God made me detail oriented for a reason. I like background things and like to recognize the needs of others before they can ask for something themselves. This is how God made me. Being front and center, in the spotlight, isn’t really my thing. I love doing things for people that not another soul knows I did. I like it when the person receiving a blessing doesn’t know where it even came from. I like finding and focusing on the ones who stay in the shadows and won’t come and ask for help on their own - - sometimes these are the ones who need the most help! Teams come and go and only hear bits and pieces of the story God is writing in me and sometimes I think it’s hard for them to actually understand my heart. I’m detail oriented, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. In fact, I’m just realizing it might be one of the reasons why God has placed me here. People who stay in the background need to be noticed and loved just as much as those who come front and center asking for love and help.

I have also realized that no one can fill me up like Jesus can. When teams come down they are encouraging and it’s nice to hear a few pleasant words here and there. But my precious, loving, and mighty Savior is the only one who knows how to fill me up until I am truly overflowing. No matter what praises I do (or don’t) hear from people on earth, I know that my Heavenly Father is up there smiling down and I cannot wait until the day I see Him and He says, “well done, good and faithful servant!” The only thing that matters is that God knows my heart, He sees everything that goes on, and He has the power to fill me up every hour of every day. He can fill my cup like no one else can. I cling to this thought daily. What I have been called to do isn’t easy and shouldn’t be taken lightly. God never promised it would be a piece of cake though. However, He did promise to be with me always and that He would never leave me. That makes this crazy life a little easier to take!

Watch this video. It makes me want to melt into the arms of my Savior when I have had a bad day:

I Need Thee O I NeedThee - Acapella Arrangement - YouTube

Now, for what I have been up to while being in Haiti for 3 months now – CRAZY right?! Our Thrive for 5 program in Savanette is going SO well! I cannot express how cute and lovable the 120+ kids in our program are. They are beyond adorable and it literally makes my day to see their little faces. Cassidy and I have known all their names for a while now. The mothers in the program are so excited we know each of their children by name. The mothers and children trust us more and more each day and it feels so good to have such a wonderful group to be connected with. When someone has a cut that needs some attention, the children are not afraid anymore to come up to the front and show it to us. J We are becoming quite the little “nurses.” Every day we are beyond blessed to be part of this program.

When we are telling the Bible stories, sometimes I feel like it might be a little boring the way we present it because we are literally just reading from the Bible. In America we have Power Points, like five handouts, a project, a verse with actions, and a video to tell a Bible story. It’s not like that here. J I got to thinking the other day and it doesn’t really matter how we present these stories. We are sharing BIBLE stories with women and children who might not know how to read, or even own a Bible! It’s a huge deal! This could possibly even be the first time some of them have heard these stories, and that’s pretty awesome to be part of. I find one person every story that looks like they “get it” and if only one hears the story of the day and “gets it,” that’s enough for me.

We started an after school program and ran it for a month. It honestly got to be way too out of hand for 3 of us to handle so it has been stopped for now and will restart in January. It was huge and we weren’t able to go “an inch wide, and a mile deep” like the projects in Savanette are supposed to be. We have learned what we want to (and don’t want to) do next time, so it should be much better the second time around. Trial and error here folks!

We are also still teaching English and the hospital staff is still loving it. Good news is – since the time change 6AM class means it’s light out the whole hour we teach! J

And some even BETTER NEWS – my ringworm is practically gone!! J YAY!! Thank you Jesus for healing me! And thank you all for the prayers. I literally could not be here if I didn’t have the support and prayers of each one of you reading this. You have no idea how much I appreciate it and how thankful I am for you! J

XXO

Tampico 

#LessonsLearned

I’ve now been here for over two months and I am growing and being stretched every day. There have been two main things God has been teaching me that I just realized the other night as I was journaling. God has been more than faithful in answering my prayers to be challenged every day. In my “answered prayers” journal, #62 and #63 (from a while back) reflect this:

#62: God has answered my prayers to be challenged every day here. He pushes me to see the best in people – the way He sees them – even when I don’t feel like it. He continually nudges me to see people through His eyes. I need to remind myself to take a time out and think about how God sees them and pray about it. He is molding me into the person He wants me to be.

#63: I’m thankful God has answered my prayers and has been pushing and testing me in things like forgiveness and patience. I’m learning to put my faith in Him no matter how big or tiny I think something is. He will always fill me up with these things if I ask Him to.

Having my parents here from October 21-31 was exactly what I needed. As most of you know I’m super detail oriented and sometimes I really need to be reminded to step back and take a look at the big picture. The little things don’t ALWAYS matter. My mom and dad could not have been more encouraging in helping me see the big picture and how some of those little things I stress about, really don’t matter. I had really good talks with both of them and could not be more thankful for them! My dad said, “well if you would have opened one of my blessing cards, it would have had some of these encouraging words in it!” I told him I only picked them randomly. J  A night or two after they left, I decided to open a card that just said “encouragement” in the bottom corner of it – I thought that was fitting for the time. And who did it happen to be from? My DAD! J It said a lot of encouraging things like, “when opportunities knock her down, she’ll never let them keep her down for too long,” “a girl who truly knows the value of faith, family, friendship, and the gift of time,” and “who puts aside all judgment to share her unconditional love of the Lord.” I’m clearly human and I have a lot to work on, but I do want to strive for things like that. I want to remember daily to fully appreciate my family, friends, and to put my faith into action. I want to put my judgment aside and see people how the Lord does. I also want to cherish my time here, although it’s challenging, I would rather be pushed to my limits daily than live an easy life where I don’t have as many chances to put my faith into action.

Some days I’m exhausted and my fuse is shorter than ever and it’s hard for me to take the time to look at someone and see them the way Jesus does. But God has been working on my heart and I am constantly reminded throughout the day to see people with His eyes. When things annoy or frustrate me (and I actually take time to stop and think about it), I have lots of ugly annoying things inside of me as well, but God still loves me and sees the good in me. I want to have eyes like Jesus and see people the way He does, all the time. I’m a sinner and I focus on the wrong stuff at times, but I’m being taught to see the good in people every day here. Everyone has good in them, it’s up to me to have that attitude and look for it if I can’t see it right away.

God has also been showing me that patience is so important, and every day I need to be refilled with it by Him! It takes a lot of patience here and on days when I’m running low, I still have my bracelet on to remind me to shut my mouth and pray about it. My bracelet is actually a pretty helpful reminder, most of the time. I also made a new bracelet that is all purple – 4 shades – for every shade of patience/peace that I need. A light shade for when I just need a little prayer to help keep the peace with the team and relax. I also have up to a really dark shade of purple for when I need to pray for a huge amount of patience/peace when I’m going crazy. It has already made me stop and think – is this really worth getting upset about, or is keeping the peace and not worrying about details a better solution? Things don’t always have to go the way we think they do. Sometimes we take the longer route, but get to the same spot and I just have to be okay with that.

I moved here knowing it would be a challenge and I still want to be growing every day. I want to be pushed to grow in my faith and trust God more with big and little things. I want to be challenged to see the good in people even when I don’t feel like looking for it. I want to be reminded every day that life isn’t about having and keeping a schedule. I stop and think a lot more about what really matters in life and “sticking to the plan” never hits the top of my list. Life is about treating others the way Jesus would, sharing the love of Jesus with them, and it’s about making the person the priority – not the plan. Some days I’m tired and I really don’t feel like stopping at one more place to be a blessing to someone. But I am reminded that God always stops for me, and God has done more for me than I could have ever dreamed of. Learning lessons isn’t always “fun,” but throughout this journey God has been/will continue to mold me more and more into the person He wants me to be, with a heart like His – ultimately that is what I want too. I’m excited to grow even more from this beautiful, crazy journey.

Below is a picture of my beautiful parents and I at the top of the Citadel in Milot, Haiti. I couldn’t have been happier to share that experience with both of them! J

xxo

Love,

Tampico

P.S. I have a small case of ringworm on my arm – I would appreciate the prayers so it goes away! J Just general prayers for Cassidy and I would be great à to stay healthy as we work with so many people throughout the day that have illnesses. J God is stronger than any illness we run into, but prayers are always comforting too!!