Me with a few of my little buddies after Thrive for 5 one day, Lensly (left) and Wensley (right). =) <3
A few verses that keep coming up in
my devotions and readings are: Luke 18:10-11 and 13. And Luke 18:14, “For
everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be
exalted.” And from the book Crazy
Love by Francis Chan, he really put into words exactly how I have been
feeling lately: “A person who is obsessed
with Jesus knows that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know
that you can never be “humble enough,” and so they seek to make themselves less
known and Christ more known.” I was very clear when coming into this that
it wasn’t about me. I knew that I would be PART of the new programs going on
here, but I wouldn’t be the one to make or break them. It has never been about
me, not even for a minute. I recently have become extremely sensitive to the
feelings of pride after thinking about how easy it would be for me to feel
prideful at this time in my life.
If I wasn’t being watchful for it, it
would be so simple right now to have a false sense of “awesomeness” about
myself for just doing what God has called me to do. I am literally told all the
time “how great it is that I am in Haiti,” and “how proud my parents must be of
me doing such a wonderful thing,” or “how great of a person I am for helping
people in such a poor country.” All of those things make me feel uneasy and make
me realize that some people don’t really ‘get it.’ Being in Haiti serving the
Lord makes me no better than anyone else and it certainly doesn’t make me feel
any better about myself, in fact I probably feel even worse some days! Some
days I honestly ask God why he has decided to bring me here –see, sometimes I
even doubt God’s plan – how can I even call myself a missionary!? Nobody should
ever think just because someone does mission work, “they have it right and all
figured out” because that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am just as much
of a sinner as everyone else is and I’m still working on figuring stuff out. I
need to be reminded of the Fruits of the Spirit constantly and need to check myself
to see if I actually am being fruitful. Anybody can give up material things for
a few years and give some stuff to needy people, but what matters most is where
your heart is and that’s what you need to constantly check. Just because God
has chosen to stick me here right now doesn’t make me any different from those
of you who are called to serve back home. My main point is this whole thing
should never be about “me being IN HAITI and being such a great person for
moving here.” (Again, so not true.) It’s about all that God is doing and it’s
about furthering His kingdom wherever you are called to do so – whether we are
at home working on witnessing to our neighbors or in Haiti working on
witnessing to a witch doctor. We are all in the same boat!
As most
of you know from my previous blog, I’m a background girl and sometimes
compliments are really hard for me to take. As I said, especially when our team
gets told all the time, “you guys do such awesome work, you guys are so great for
living there and working in a place like that every day,” etc. God has really
been working on my heart recently and I have become very sensitive to these
‘compliments.’ Don’t get me wrong, encouragement is great! But sometimes I feel
like the way things are said, aren’t necessarily focused on the Lord, they are
more focused on “us being such great people.” I would so much rather hear, “wow
I can really see God working here, the love of Jesus is oozing out of you!” I
know most people don’t mean it bad when they give us compliments and I’m not
saying they aren’t nice sometimes, but if I honestly let them all go to my head
– it would probably explode with pride! I would also probably think this
couldn’t be done without me, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am
PART of God’s plan, it doesn’t revolve around me. We can all be part of God’s
plan if we choose to be, but that doesn’t mean it’s about any of us. I think
this is a good lesson for everyone to be reminded of and God has really been
placing it on my heart. No matter where we are at in our faith walk or what
country we are in, it’s not about us, it’s about making ourselves less known so
that we can make Christ more known. We all have to work at picking up our cross
daily and following our wonderful, powerful, and loving Savior.
Ebens,
Cassidy, Cliff, and I got to go visit Denilson last week and couldn’t have been
more excited! Denilson is an 8 year old boy who was badly burned and Many Hands
for Haiti has decided to get him the help he needs to heal. He is doing so well
and we have posted many pictures of his recovery on the Many Hands for Haiti
Facebook page, as well as on my own Facebook page. We will continue to give
updates about him as we have them! Thank you so much for the prayers, he needs
them! God has a great big plan for this beautiful child’s life! =)
I am
really looking forward to coming home December 18th and we would
really appreciate the prayers as we fly out that day. I have been craving the
most random things like: milk, apples, green olives, pickles, and yogurt to
name a few. Of course junk food is ALWAYS good to have around as well, but
strangely enough that’s not what I miss the most! It will be so great to spend
the holiday season with my family and friends! Can’t wait to see some of you
back in Spencer soon! =)
Love,
Tampico
