a purpose driven life

I was brushing my teeth the other night and I noticed this ant in my sink. It was going back and forth, left then right, back around again, and literally had no direction at all. I was standing there thinking, “What the heck is it doing? What could it possibly be thinking right now? Do ants even have brains to think?!” I started to think about how boring life would be, to be roaming round in circles with no purpose really, and I realized that kind of used to be me! I was just like that ant at one point in my life. Roaming around from one thing to the next, never really sure what my purpose was, never sure what direction I was headed in, just going with the flow, going through motions of life, etc. At one point God was on the back burner in my life and I honestly didn’t really think much about what my purpose in life was or what He had planned for me. I was just off doing my thing and roaming around aimlessly.

I remember one evening in fall of 2012, before moving to Haiti was even a thought in my head, and before I had really started to grow in my faith. I was standing at the sink (yet again!) doing some dishes after work and started thinking about the purpose of our lives here on earth. I was standing there thinking to myself, “Wow, my weeks are all the same: work 9-5 Monday-Friday, come home, make dinner, do dishes, hang with friends on weekends, etc. If this is all I’m living for day after day, week after week, etc. it’s boring!!” I started to think about how I lived for something more than just life here on earth and if I didn’t have God in my life, I’d have nothing to truly live for and be excited about! I was reminded that everything we do in life should be a reflection of God. He should be constantly on our hearts and minds all day every day and we should always be working to show love to others as He would do. Little did I know at the time, a few months later my life would be turned upside down with the Holy Spirit nudging me to do what God had planned for my life. Even though days here are hard, frustrating, and exhausting at times; I still would rather be challenged endlessly every day than live a boring comfortable life where I never was pushed to my limits.

I opened a random “Blessings card” from my 6^th grade teacher Mr. Gude the other night. The front of the envelope read, “Bloom where you are planted.” That was the perfect reminder because sometimes I forget I need to just bloom right here, right now, in Haiti. This is where God has planted me in this season of life and I need to adapt to it and trust that He has a plan and a purpose here! Mr. Gude also goes on to talk about how my 6^th grade class required him to take a different approach to teaching. He didn’t necessarily like it (it wasn’t easy or comfortable for him at times) but he had to stick with it anyways. In the end, the benefits reaped were very much worth it. I also do not like every situation I am put in here, but every situation I face pushes me to grow in one way or another and I too will reap the benefits from them one day. I am learning to adapt. I am learning to trust God in EVERY hour of every day. I am learning to use prayer like I never have before. I am learning that He can change people’s hearts. I am learning how to be more patient. I am learning a new language. I am learning a new culture. I’m learning more about myself and about God than I ever have in my life! I’m thirsty for more of His word every day and I constantly want to be refilled and refreshed by my Savior. I cannot do any of this on my own and that has never been more apparent.

I also opened a card from my mom the other night because I needed some encouraging words from her. I found a beautiful note in there with a charm that said “Be strong.” It’s so cool to see God place the exact words I need to hear, at the exact time I need to hear them! :) She had cut out the words of the song “10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)” in the card as well. I was sitting there reading the words to a song I’ve listened to hundreds of times and I was reminded that it’s true. Even in moments where I feel like I have about zero things to be thankful for – I truly have over 10,000 reasons to praise God. I don’t deserve anything He has given me. Not one thing! I fail Him every day. And yet He continues to love me, to bless me, to encourage me, and He continues to give me glimpses of hope when I need them the most. I am blessed by every single thing He has given me in this life – challenges and all – good and bad. I owe Him praises all day long. No matter how crappy I think my day has been. 

Love

Tampico